After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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