Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize