I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
