hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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