Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
