The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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