I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
