I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
