i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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