Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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