Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize