i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
