He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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