Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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