Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
