I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
