I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
