There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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