he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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