I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
