The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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