I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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