We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
did i walk over a car last night?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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