Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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