I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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