You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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