Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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