he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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