Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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