go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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