and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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