I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
