only if we run a train.
done.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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