i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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