Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize