I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
