can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
