Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
