Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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