Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
