That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
