in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
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I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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