I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
