are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize