playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
