The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize