I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
