im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize