i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
