It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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