Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
