My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
