if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
