If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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