Rock
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Fuck
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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