You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think your dad took our porno
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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