My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
