Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
