so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
