you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
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I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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