A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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