The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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