If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
