im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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