and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
