not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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