Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
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I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
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Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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