I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
