i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am midnight drunk by noon
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
