I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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